It is apparent that over the years with the advancement of the Internet all you will surely negativity about every single topic. People have their own opinions and views that they learn from their personal experiences, parents, family, friends, peers, media, or the Internet. Some just do not have the ability to filter out that we are all different and just because they went through something it is not the same for the other person. For example, the person who had a loss, grieved for a brief period thinks the one who suffered a similar loss taking longer to grieve is making excuses that they can’t get over it. Next, the person who lost weight with eating right and exercise assumes that every fat person is them. Lastly, not checking the privileges that they have over someone who grew up in a bad neighborhood, their sexual orientation, their marital status, or their nationality. Do not think someone who is educated on the basics of these differences will be sympathetic or empathetic as some will not get it. Therefore these views are everywhere and can make someone feel insecure about who they are and what they look like.

You see stories about persons who have lost their jobs for being racist or complaining about their workplace. Has anyone ever been fired from a job from practicing online bullying? Probably not. Would it solve the problem. Not really. Bullying is not even a way to get fired in the adult workplace. However, maybe they could lose friends because they do not realize many of their comments are not posted in private.  Especially, on Facebook in which when a person comments on a public page such as a Fan Page their comments could be see by their friends online. Although I know of circles of women that feed on this type of behavior. We already know that social media does not even take these comments seriously and if reported their photos banned. Furthermore, we know that women bodies are a huge money making business. Funny, I have seen people who work with women or make money off of women who talk about another’s body. Is this what you say to your clients or your customers? Doubt it, as they presume they are hiding behind a computer screen so it is okay. With this being said it is easy for someone to make a fake account or a troll account to propose bullying.

There are many articles posted about being a plus size woman experiencing body shaming versus someone who is not plus size. One great example is:

The real difference between skinny shaming and fat shaming lies in one key term: privilege“.

It discusses how you see it way more on someone who is fat versus ones that are thin. It is true. I follow pages that have all sizes. No matter where you go in the comments you will see someone body shaming. However, it is more apparent when a plus size woman is posted.

Recently, I seen a post that Allure posting the new Torrid campaign that had a plus size women posted next to plus size models. The comments were just so negative in majority of the posts especially the assumptions of their health. It always looks like a debate with high school females.

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Compared to the Chanel fashions that were posted there were a mere two comments about the models figures. There are considerable differences.

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It does not stop there. A magazine posted a plus size model who isn’t even standard so it was pretty much a miracle she had made it as far as she did. There was still backlash from the plus size community that she wasn’t big enough. It makes no sense to me as when I was in my teens or twenties there was no such thing as seeing anyone such as this in advertisements. It happens to women who do not fit the persona of anything like there is no happy medium.

Wouldn’t be nice if these comments were removed from the page? Torrid and Lane Bryant have been taking a stand to prevent the shaming but, there is much work to be done for others to do the same.

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For me I do not have a high enough following on social media to be affected as some of these ladies are. It did not happen in the past on Myspace or on the online forums that I was a member of. The forums usually did not allow that type of behavior to happen or you would be banned. When it did I left. Unlike Model Mayhem in which fat hate prevails and since it was the way I obtained work I just ended up staying away from their forum. It did happen to me when #effyourbeautystandards’ Instagram posted a unretouched photo of me there was an “Ewww” comment. I wanted to ask them to remove it but, I sucked it up and was just happy that they reposted my photo.  Sometimes it happens to my old model photos or my workout pictures but, least I can remove any negativity there.

It really urks me when people use someones weight to end an argument.

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Truly, it affects me when I see it happen to others. I even have gotten into some deep arguments with people about their shaming. It really has not gotten anywhere because in the end they usually shame me next. It was becoming a relentless battle of me trying to change the views of others.

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Just not one of those people who can voice out change on the Internet. Trying not to read the comments helps. Sometimes though that is not enough. I have decided to unfollow pages that allow these comments to happen. It took me years to follow Lane Bryant, shop there, and open a credit line because they would not until this year stick up for plus size women of all sizes that spend their money there and not just their models. Other things to remember is what I mentioned in the beginning everyone has their opinion from learned experiences in which they compare themselves to everything. Lastly, people are just not nice. Judging someone from a photo is like judging a book from it’s cover.

Keeping your life positive with people who appreciate you and your body are key to live a healthy life. This includes people you know personally. It is important to have a good mental state. I cannot even tell a person’s health by their photo. It takes an assessment from head to toe. Sure there are studies out there that say otherwise but, there are also studies done and being done on the opposite end of the spectrum. If you think about it you cannot have one without the other. Do things, live your life, and treat it right.

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3 thoughts on “Accepting your body without social media approval

    1. It is a great video but many in the body acceptance community do not believe in dressing for flattering your bodytype..

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  1. I love your last paragraph — wise words to live by. It saddens me to see the negativity expressed about women’s bodies. It seems there’s no winning that debate since since cultural beliefs about women gird most people’s opinions. Those deep beliefs are usually beyond reason, making efforts by you and others unavailing. But we should still try, as hopeless as it seems. This post is an excellent discussion of the issue.

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